What causes possessiveness in a relationship

what causes possessiveness in a relationship

Possessiveness is good when it comes to non-living things. But being possessive about a person doesn’t really goes well with the other person. A relationship is meant to be enjoyed not dominated. The over possessiveness nature can very badly affect the happiness and sweetness of a relationship. Although there is nothing like a perfect relationship, but an ideal relationship needs to give you freedom and wings to your dreams. A relationship is meant to give a new direction to your life. But many times these dreams are crushed with the existence of possessive nature within a person.

No matter how happy or how peaceful a relationship is, the evil nature of possessiveness is sure to rob you off your happiness, peace and health. Possessiveness is something we all have in our nature. It comes very natural to all of us. Ever since our childhood, there must have been some people like our friends for whom we may have felt possessive. But, too much of anything is wrong. Whether being possessive is a good thing or a bad thing, but anything that hampers the freedom of the other person in a relationship with you is actually a bad thing.

While some may argue that they are just caring or being protective, there lies a very thin line between over possessiveness and protectiveness. There are different ways or signs your boyfriend is too possessive.

what causes possessiveness in a relationship

1. No Space:

One of the first signs of possessiveness is that it curbs your freedom. You will have no space whatsoever, for yourself. Everything will be subjective to your boyfriend’s approval. Everyone has a little bit of insecurities and fears in their hearts. But, giving them a right to dictate your life is not a wise thing to do. If your boyfriend is intruding your personal space because of his insecurities or fears, then it is a clear sign of a possessive boyfriend.

Most insecurities and fears can be removed with a touch of love. Faith is the only solid ground you can stand firm on. Talk to your boyfriend about these things. By making him understand the seriousness of the issue, you can help him get out of his fears and insecurities.

2. No Trust:

Trust is the basic or the foundation stone of a relationship, without which a relationship cannot survive. Possessiveness arises out of a lack of trust. If your boyfriend finds it hard to trust you and always questions about your whereabouts, then it’s time to take things little bit seriously. When trust is broken, the relationship suffers.

Lack of trust can be due to various reasons. Introspection is necessary to find out the root cause of the problem. Many times problem can be with you, it could be your nature or your attitude, which has resulted in the loss of trust in the relationship. Make sure you get to the bottom of the problem and then come up with a solution.

3. No Respect:

Possessive nature is the enemy of love. A relationship suffers terribly at the hands of a possessive partner. A person tends to lose his respect with constantly asking or rather, doubting the other person. And, the girl will also feel insulted when she is constantly bugged by rhetoric questions. Respect is the basic need of a relationship.

As the personal space of the other person is continuously intruded, there is a lack of privacy and the relationship becomes suffocating.

People always find love in unexpected places. No relationship is perfect, because no man is perfect either. But, a relationship can be filled with perfect moments. Taking to your boyfriend openly about these things can help you put the right picture before him. He should know how his attitude is affecting not only you but the relationship also.

4. No Peace:

Know possessiveness, no peace. No possessiveness, know peace!

Peace is lost amid the growing tensions that couples live within a possessive relationship. Fighting takes the driving seat and then things start to get really ugly when there are doubts and questions about everything, from the dress you are wearing to the friend you are talking to on the phone.

Peace is something that can be strived for. If you really love your boyfriend, you can try seeking the help of a relationship counsellor. No one is perfect. Your love and your approach towards this particular situation will help you to have a happy relationship. At times, even the counsellors might not be of any help, that’s the time when you have to really start thinking about yourself and take a decision. Avoid taking any decision in a rash.

5. No Love:

Usually, in a relationship where there is no freedom and trust there remains no room for love too. The other person just becomes a subject or an object on whom you can exercise your force. Love is a feeling, which sets a person free and gives their dreams an open ground to become a reality. If your relationship lacks this kind of freedom, then there is a dire need of communication between you and your boyfriend.

Most of the times, the love is not completely lost but it is clouded by the ongoing problems in the relationship. Talking to your parents or friends or seeking the advice of a counsellor can help you clear the mess and once again enjoy love. Love is a powerful emotion and it cannot be achieved without you fighting for it.

6. No Comfort:

Comfort level is a must in a healthy relationship. A girl should be comfortable enough to express her feelings and thoughts to her partner. But if there is possessiveness, comfort takes a backseat and there is always a fear in the mind of the girl on how the guy will react. Reactions in a certain way are totally unacceptable as they disturb the equilibrium of the relationship.

Finding comfort in a relationship hovered by the dark clouds of possessiveness is always an uphill task. When love and hate collides, you really don’t know where to take refuge in. But, as the lines of a song say, ‘Don’t give in, without a fight!’  You should strive for that comfort. Explaining your boyfriend with patience and making him understand, can actually give you some ground to work upon. How he reacts to your calm approach will help you in deciding the fate of your relationship.

Always remember; Love doesn’t change, people do.

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